Coming to terms?

I wonder if the other night's weird dream was about Joe rather than Glyn.

Since I had it I haven't thought about him anything like as much, even though I've been talking about him to K and Rachael and showed Rachael videos of him. Previously he'd been in my thoughts almost constantly, and when he wasn't actually in them he was next in line. I don't think I've cried for him since then either, when hitherto I had shed at least a few tears every day. Bollocks, I'm crying now, but maybe it's different.

In the dream I was remarrying very soon after Glyn, and while the circumstances prevented it from being a happy occasion it did at least feel right, although I was worried about what other people might think.

Wilson came into my life immediately after I lost Joe. It felt right, inasmuch as anything could possibly feel right at the time. I was supported enormously by all my friends who helped me to find reasons to like Wilson when I struggled, and were delighted for me when I realised how lovely he is.

Wilson does things for me that Joe never could. That's his gift. Joe did things for me that Wilson never will, and that's his. I love them both for what they are.

I don't believe in an afterlife any more - at least, not one that has any connection with this life - but maybe I'm wrong and perhaps Joe is ready to bow out now, or perhaps it's simply that I'm ready to let him go.

And bollocks, I'm still crying, aren't I contrary?!