Mand, this might sound really basic and I hope this doesn't come across funny but you ARE allowed to love two horses you know?
And you ARE allowed to love them equally but differently.
Loving Wilson for doing what Joe couldn't do, doesn't mean you love Joe less. Loving Joe for doing what Wilson can't do, doesn't mean you have to love Wilson less.
It really did help me when someone else told me that, even though I knew it myself.
I feel for you, I really really really do. I am the same about Ted and then I get upset that I don't get quite so upset over Chad or Rust but I've figured out why that is and I've been able to reach the point where I can get upset over him without feeling guilty (am sat here crying even now!) so I really really hope you can reach that point too.
I think when you lose one in sudden circumstances, there's always a little bit of unfinished business.
You are allowed grieve for Joe but love Wilson and have fun with Wilson at the same though .. honest!
I just don't understand what is going on. In theory I DO know that it's ok to love them both, just as much, for different reasons but I think I don't understand why losing Joe still hurts so much, especially when I have Wilson.
I'm very bewildered but equally grateful to you and all those who understand.
I am not sure grief is understandable in a logical way. It is something so deep within us, so primal, that it doesn't bear analysing really.
I heard a song a few days ago which had me sobbing for Cas and then for Wills - I had put the darn song on the compilation to listen to as I drove so I knew it was there yet it took me so by surprise.
Mand, this might sound really basic and I hope this doesn't come across funny but you ARE allowed to love two horses you know?
ReplyDeleteAnd you ARE allowed to love them equally but differently.
Loving Wilson for doing what Joe couldn't do, doesn't mean you love Joe less. Loving Joe for doing what Wilson can't do, doesn't mean you have to love Wilson less.
It really did help me when someone else told me that, even though I knew it myself.
I feel for you, I really really really do. I am the same about Ted and then I get upset that I don't get quite so upset over Chad or Rust but I've figured out why that is and I've been able to reach the point where I can get upset over him without feeling guilty (am sat here crying even now!) so I really really hope you can reach that point too.
I think when you lose one in sudden circumstances, there's always a little bit of unfinished business.
You are allowed grieve for Joe but love Wilson and have fun with Wilson at the same though .. honest!
I just don't understand what is going on. In theory I DO know that it's ok to love them both, just as much, for different reasons but I think I don't understand why losing Joe still hurts so much, especially when I have Wilson.
ReplyDeleteI'm very bewildered but equally grateful to you and all those who understand.
I am not sure grief is understandable in a logical way. It is something so deep within us, so primal, that it doesn't bear analysing really.
ReplyDeleteI heard a song a few days ago which had me sobbing for Cas and then for Wills - I had put the darn song on the compilation to listen to as I drove so I knew it was there yet it took me so by surprise.
There is no logic, only emotion. :hugs: xxx